18-year-old pays rent to boyfriend's parents, protests when told to stay out of the house 5 days a week because his stepdad is 'uncomfortable': 'I spend 90% of my time in our bedroom'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Apr 29, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

How far is going too far when it comes to establishing house rules?

One of the most important parts of living with anybody is establishing a relationship of mutual respect, where everybody can exist in their own space without too much discomfort and annoyance. No matter whether your roommates are family, a partner, or random strangers, there is plenty of potential for disagreements to arise, and it's best to nip those in the bud by sticking to a code of conduct that works for everyone involved. 

As the majority of people have experienced, things do not always work out that way. Either somebody refuses to stick to the rules, or they change so much that they are nearly impossible to live with. It often gets to a point where a person is left with no choice but to find a new place to live. Although we are meant to live in community, certain individuals can feel nearly impossible to coexist with. They seem to have a vested interest in making the place that should be a refuge feel as stressful as possible for those who live with them. It is not a pleasant situation to have to contend with.

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  • A young woman stands outside, in front of a large window with the curtains drawn
    via A. C. (Unsplash+)

    A young woman stands outside, in front of a large window with the curtains drawn

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • A young woman was renting a room with her boyfriend in her boyfriend's parents' house. She thought that she was being unobtrusive, as she spent most of her time in their bedroom, but her stepdad began to claim that she was making him uncomfortable, and that she needed to stay out of the house during the day for most of the week.

    She felt that he was reacting to two recent incidents in which he had behaved inappropriately, and did not believe that this was a good solution. She wasn't sure if she was being too sensitive about his demands, however.

  • Am I overreacting about being told to stay out of the house I live for 5 days a week?

    So I (18F) live with my partner in his parents house, we pay rent for our specific bedroom space, and I spend 90% of my time in there anyway when I I am at home since that's where I feel most comfortable.
    via Dry-Chard-9980
  • Recently, my partner's stepdad told my partner's mother that he felt 'uncomfortable' about just being in the house while I'm there and other people are at work and stuff, and this was relayed to me through my partner. Now, the stepdad is diagnosed with anxiety, but I really don't get why he's
    via Dry-Chard-9980
  • reacting like that. I ended up being told I should stay in town 5 days a week from minimum 830-3pm, just because the stepdad doesn't want me around (really just in my room but yk).
    via Dry-Chard-9980
  • Some additional context is over the past 3 weeks or so there were two incidents between me and the stepdad, one where he walked into my bedroom after knocking WITHOUT waiting for a response and I was indecent at the time (I have a bad history with ab ive male family members so this was very
    via Dry-Chard-9980
  • traumatic), and the other was when my partner's parents were arguing and I thought they were in their room, turns out they were in the kitchen and I walked in there and promptly got sworn at by the stepdad and told to off basically.
    via Dry-Chard-9980
  • Hopefully that all makes sense, I can provide additional context or answer questions, but basically am I overreacting by feeling weird and uncomfortable about being made to stay out of the house to cater to my partner's stepdad being less 'uncomfortable'??
    via Dry-Chard-9980
  • Edit: we BOTH pay rent at an amount that the OWNER OF THE HOUSE ASKED FOR. I still get money because you can get assistance when you study at university full time and I recently got a part-time job anyway. Sorry to everyone that's saying I don't deserve any rights in this situation because my boyfriend pays the bills, you're literally incorrect.
    via Dry-Chard-9980
  • A young woman shades her eyes from the sun as she stands outside, in front of a window with the curtains drawn and foliage around it
    via A. C. (Unsplash+)

    A young woman shades her eyes from the sun as she stands outside, in front of a window with the curtains drawn and foliage around it

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Helpful-Alligator You shouldn't be paying rent if you're not allowed in the house, or you should pay less rent. Can you guys move out? This sounds like a bad situation anyway
    via Helpful-Alligator
  • Any Silver_Homeland nor You pay rent you shouldn't be told to leave the house daily. Him walking into your room and swearing at you is already out of line. His anxiety isn't an excuse to push you out.
    via Any_Silver_Homeland
  • Firelady90 Sounds like step dad is an a le
    via Firelady90
  • ggggår 1962 NOR, but I agree with most, you need to move out asap! He's the one with the problem and is trying to make it yours! I hope you told your partner what happened, both times, and hope that your partner has your back!
    via gggglr_1962
  • If you are paying rent and you basically spend 90-95% of your time in the room, wth would you need to stay out of the house?! Also, please keep your door locked when you're in there, especially when no one else is there but SD. If there's no lock, install one, even if it's just a latch.
    via gggglr_1962
  • Mak_275 NOR if youre paying rent he cant dictate when you are there or not
    via Mak_275
  • MathematicianAfter57 Nope don't do it, you pay rent. Your partner needs to handle the parents too.
    via MathematicianAfter57
  • popchex If it bothers him, he needs to leave. If they insist, you need to stop paying rent for a room you're not allowed to be in. I'm sorry they're being this way. I hope you can find a balance between now and when you can get your own place.
    via popchex
  • pardonyourmess Sounds like moving out is a great option!
    via pardonyourmess
  • mywordgoodnessme Just say "Sorry, I really can't do that. I need to be at home to study. Shouldn't be a problem if we stick to our respective spaces."
    via mywordgoodnessme
  • Calgary_Calico You pay rent, you're a tenant, which means you have every right to be in the house. Also, get a wedge for the bedroom door so it can't be opened from the outside if you're home alone with his stepdad
    via Calgary_Calico
  • Panza2020 NOR but go to the library or a coffee house during the day anyway bc stepdad is a nutcase.
    via Panza2020

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boyfriend house teenagers rent family bedroom stepdad mom
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