18-year-old pays rent to boyfriend's parents, protests when told to stay out of the house 5 days a week because his stepdad is 'uncomfortable': 'I spend 90% of my time in our bedroom'

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  • A young woman stands outside, in front of a large window with the curtains drawn
  • Am I overreacting about being told to stay out of the house I live for 5 days a week?

    So I (18F) live with my partner in his parents house, we pay rent for our specific bedroom space, and I spend 90% of my time in there anyway when I I am at home since that's where I feel most comfortable.
  • Recently, my partner's stepdad told my partner's mother that he felt 'uncomfortable' about just being in the house while I'm there and other people are at work and stuff, and this was relayed to me through my partner. Now, the stepdad is diagnosed with anxiety, but I really don't get why he's
  • reacting like that. I ended up being told I should stay in town 5 days a week from minimum 830-3pm, just because the stepdad doesn't want me around (really just in my room but yk).
  • Some additional context is over the past 3 weeks or so there were two incidents between me and the stepdad, one where he walked into my bedroom after knocking WITHOUT waiting for a response and I was indecent at the time (I have a bad history with ab ive male family members so this was very
  • traumatic), and the other was when my partner's parents were arguing and I thought they were in their room, turns out they were in the kitchen and I walked in there and promptly got sworn at by the stepdad and told to off basically.
  • Hopefully that all makes sense, I can provide additional context or answer questions, but basically am I overreacting by feeling weird and uncomfortable about being made to stay out of the house to cater to my partner's stepdad being less 'uncomfortable'??
  • Edit: we BOTH pay rent at an amount that the OWNER OF THE HOUSE ASKED FOR. I still get money because you can get assistance when you study at university full time and I recently got a part-time job anyway. Sorry to everyone that's saying I don't deserve any rights in this situation because my boyfriend pays the bills, you're literally incorrect.
  • A young woman shades her eyes from the sun as she stands outside, in front of a window with the curtains drawn and foliage around it
  • Helpful-Alligator You shouldn't be paying rent if you're not allowed in the house, or you should pay less rent. Can you guys move out? This sounds like a bad situation anyway
  • Any Silver_Homeland nor You pay rent you shouldn't be told to leave the house daily. Him walking into your room and swearing at you is already out of line. His anxiety isn't an excuse to push you out.
  • Firelady90 Sounds like step dad is an a le
  • ggggår 1962 NOR, but I agree with most, you need to move out asap! He's the one with the problem and is trying to make it yours! I hope you told your partner what happened, both times, and hope that your partner has your back!
  • If you are paying rent and you basically spend 90-95% of your time in the room, wth would you need to stay out of the house?! Also, please keep your door locked when you're in there, especially when no one else is there but SD. If there's no lock, install one, even if it's just a latch.
  • Mak_275 NOR if youre paying rent he cant dictate when you are there or not
  • MathematicianAfter57 Nope don't do it, you pay rent. Your partner needs to handle the parents too.
  • popchex If it bothers him, he needs to leave. If they insist, you need to stop paying rent for a room you're not allowed to be in. I'm sorry they're being this way. I hope you can find a balance between now and when you can get your own place.
  • pardonyourmess Sounds like moving out is a great option!
  • mywordgoodnessme Just say "Sorry, I really can't do that. I need to be at home to study. Shouldn't be a problem if we stick to our respective spaces."
  • Calgary_Calico You pay rent, you're a tenant, which means you have every right to be in the house. Also, get a wedge for the bedroom door so it can't be opened from the outside if you're home alone with his stepdad
  • Panza2020 NOR but go to the library or a coffee house during the day anyway bc stepdad is a nutcase.

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